Re: Press Release: new draft, PressKit.html

Josh,

I like the structure of the features and especially how you formulated the
part with SQL 2003!
I am no native speaker of the English language. For me this sentence is very
very hard to digest:

"""Performance improvements: version 8.2 improves performance around 20%
overall in high-end OLTP systems and even larger gains in data warehousing
efficiency""

I had to read it around 3 times trying to get it; I was desperately missing
a verb for the "larger gains".
My recommendation is to split it into 2 sentences and add another verb; at
least an auxiliary one; that will make it also easier splitable for
journalists:

"""Performance improvements: version 8.2 improves performance around 20%
overall in high-end OLTP systems. There are even larger gains in data
warehousing
efficiency."""

You explain OLTP further down:

"Online Index Builds: lets OLTP (online transactional processing)
applications update tables while they are being indexed."

I recommend to explain OLTP at its first occurence (counting "first" on
reading top down), rather than on its second.

My latin-german-english comma-setting sense recommends another "," before
include:

"""Advanced database features, being offered in PostgreSQL 8.2 before any
other
major database system, include:"""

because that "include" belongs to the "Advanced db features", and
"being....system" is an insertion.

and I think the last "," here can be dropped:

"""The changes include faster in-memory and on-disk
sorting, better multi-processor scaling, better planning of partitioned
data queries, faster bulk loads, and vastly accelerated outer joins."""

because "and" allready counts as separator between the elements of this
list.

Best wishes,

Harald

--
GHUM Harald Massa
persuadere et programmare
Harald Armin Massa
Reinsburgstraße 202b
70197 Stuttgart
0173/9409607
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