| From: | Josh Berkus <josh(at)agliodbs(dot)com> |
|---|---|
| To: | "Merlin Moncure" <merlin(dot)moncure(at)rcsonline(dot)com>, <pgsql-advocacy(at)postgresql(dot)org> |
| Subject: | Re: 7.4 release news item on postgresql.org |
| Date: | 2003-12-04 18:38:46 |
| Message-ID: | 200312041038.46203.josh@agliodbs.com |
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| Lists: | pgsql-advocacy |
Merlin,
> Here are my suggestions:
> The first sentence is a non sequitur. It states postgres was released
> due to having a large number of enterprise features, while the intended
> meaning is to imply a long testing period.
> The word 'enterprise' should not be in quotes because it does not
> normally appear in quotes. Quotation marks imply a user inferred
> meaning that differs from the normal one. In this case it implies
> triteness (at least to me).
> The personal pronoun 'our' does not belong here.
> 'Click download links above to download it' is better stated as 'The new
> version is available in the download section' (perhaps with a 'located
> above' tacked on to the end).
Thanks, but a critique doesn't do us much good if you don't supply alternate
text. How about you just re-write the paragraph and I'll post it?
--
-Josh Berkus
Aglio Database Solutions
San Francisco
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